Is The New RINGS Film Any Good? Review Says Its Caca
Let’s be honest, expectations for Rings weren’t through the roof. This is a film that follows The Ring’s sequel Ring 2 by 12 years. Not only that, it doesn’t have the characters we watched deal with extraordinary VHS issues in the previous films. Why bring audience back to this series? Because something was left to wrap up with the old storyline? No, Rings is a cash grab.
While the movie begins by rehashing the premise that a videotape is watched and within seven days, the viewer dies. Let’s stay away from how outdated VCRs are. Now, taking a note from It Follows, people just need to make a copy and show it to someone else. Perhaps that makes sense to many that share files, but a lot of people are old enough to remember the old rules. Did someone negotiate with the little girl for new rules?
For those rooting for Johnny Galecki since the days of Rosanne, this is your lucky day. The Big Bang Theory Star plays college professor Gabriel. Aside from bias, there’s nothing that stands out about Galecki’s performance. Not that we expected award-worthy showmanship, but we were given a pretty bare meal. Really makes someone wonder what artistic movie Galecki is signed up for that made him take this payday. But, it’s Gabriel who brings the beloved VHS back into the picture. And, after a pretty tedious 45 minutes, we move to the digital era, and there’s more to the video than was discovered in previous Rings.
One of Gabriel’s students, Holt (Alex Roe) and his girlfriend Julia (Matilda Lutz) do their share of sleuthing but it all feels a bit too familiar. Pictures are clues to a disappearance? Like Ring 2? We follow them as they pick up breadcrumbs in a town people lock their doors in while pumping gas.
While the film aims to be brooding, dark, and scary; it fails. There are several things that invoke fear with far less effort. Example: Realizing a seat in a gas station bathroom is in your future. Rings‘ tired premise (yes, everyone knows the idea was taken from Ringu) ran out of steam outside of Japan 12 years ago.
Was this dull attempt at a horror flick just a curious “maybe people will be bored that weekend?” At best, Rings deserves to be watched on a Sunday while laundry is folded. But, for all the negativity in this review, none is directed toward Vincent D’Onofrio as Burke. He’s a blessing in almost every role he steps into. We forgive you Vince.
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