Game of Thrones Recap with Spoilers S7E3: “The Queen’s Justice”
It’s happening, y’all. Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen are on a collision course and these trains are hitting tonight. Last week’s episode on Game of Thrones saw the true cost of post traumatic stress for Theon, saw the Dornish and splinter-Greyjoys decimated. Euron is terrifying. Could Ellaria and Yara possibly survive tonight’s Game of Thrones episode. Shall we begin? (Yes, we’re still doing that).
Summon Jon Snow
Well, the King in the North has come to Dragonstone to meet the Mother of Dragons. It’s really happening. Jon’s meeting with Tyrion, a reunion, is one of those rare joyful moments this show gets. Missandei asks them to relieve themselves of their weapons, and Jon and his men comply. Jon and Tyrion’s walk-and-talk is one for the ages, including “General rule of thumb: Stark men rarely fair well when they travel South.” A dragon flying over them as they walk the long path to the castle um… started Jon and Davos a bit.
Melisandre and Varys have a little chat from the cliffs above, and she said it, she actually said, “I’ve brought Ice and Fire together.” SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT. Anyway, Meli makes a subtle prophecy that she will die in Westeros, and Varys shall, as well.
A tale of two titles
The introductions of Daenerys and Jon are hilarious – her with 20 titles, him as “Jon Snow. King in the North.” Daenerys brings up that the last King in the North bent the knee to her ancestor and “in perpetuity.” Jon says he’s not here to bend the knee, and brings up her father’s crimes. She… apologized. Huh. “Our families were allies for centuries.” She offers him Warden of the North, and he does not accept. However, he says, “I need your help, and you need mine.”
This tet-a-tet is interesting. “We are children playing at a game and complaining the rules are not fair,” Jon says. Okay, now he’s just ripping the bandaid off about the Night King, the army of the dead, the whitewalkers, everything. Daenerys really doesn’t feel like talking about hypothetical (to her) zombies. All she cares about is being “born to rule the seven kingdoms.” Jon tells her she’ll rule over ashes.
Davos Seaworth continues to be the best, most level-headed character on all of Game of Thrones, and speechifies for Jon, and what he’s accomplished in the North. Dany seems unimpressed. Guys, this good faith visit isn’t going very well. It ends with Daenerys getting some news from Varys (likely about her fleet) and Jon asking “am I your prisoner?” “Not yet.”
Guess their plan sunk
Two or three ships in the fleet got away, and the status of Ellaria and Yara is unknown, even to Varys. Theon gets fished out of the water by some of those from his camp. They are angry that he’s alive.
Euron parades his prisoners, Yara, Ellaria, and her one surviving Sand Snake, through the streets of King’s Landing. The people living there all cheer at this, and it’s pretty awful. Even into the throne room, which Euron rides his effing horse into, they are received with a round of applause. He drops Ellaria and Tyene to Queen Cersei as the gift he promised.
Cersei agrees to marry Euron “when the war is won.” She names him officially the commander of the fleet. Euron whispers to Jaime for advice on pleasuring Cersei. Ummm so that’s not uncomfortable at all. “Does she like a finger in the bum?” Good lord, Game of Thrones.
Cersei doesn’t immediately torture Ellaria. She does with words, I suppose, but nothing crazy just yet. She truly loved Marcella, for sure. Cersei tells her that Tyene, her own daughter, is a true Dornish beauty, and must be her favorite. “We all make our choices. You chose to murder my daughter.” Cersei talks about the ways she’s thought about murdering Ellaria, or her daughter. She kisses Tyene right on the lips – with the exact same poison Ellaria killed Marcella with. Qyburn figured it out for her. He remains one of the scariest people on Game of Thrones.
Cersei says Ellaria will have to sit there and watch her daughter die, then live long enough to watch her daughter’s body rot. Holy F*** this is ice cold.
After that, Cersei got so horny from torture that she went right to Jaime. She droppe to her knees and next we know they’re waking up in bed together – Cersei gives zero shits anymore about anyone finding out. Sooooo that’s a thing.
The Iron Bank wants they money back. Cersei is unimpressed. “Daenerys Targaryen has three full-grown dragons. How do wooden ships fare against fire-breathing dragons?” he says. Cersei’s bet is that Daenerys is worse for business than she is. Looks like he’s accepting her gambit.
Back at Dragonstone, Jon takes in the nice Southern weather and a chat with Tyrion, who tells Jon he looks better at brooding. Tyrion believes Jon’s warnings now that he’s seen the enemy to the North himself. Jon is between a Dragonstone and a hard place here, knowing he needs to prepare his people for what’s coming, and here he is, “a Northern fool.” Tyrion reminds him that “Children are not their fathers.” His advice game is strong.
Tyrion talks to Daenerys about giving some dragon glass (aka obsidian) to Jon to kill white walkers and the army of the dead. He tells her he believes Jon, because he’s there. He thinks the gesture will be considerable in establishing them as allies.
They still don’t know they’re related
Jon and Daenerys have a chat on their own, just the two of them. “Tyrion enjoys talking,” “We all enjoy what we’re good at,” “I don’t.” Damn, that’s heavy. And yeah, Jon’s good at killing. She will provide resources and men to mine the dragon glass and forge weapons with it. Also, her hair game is SO on point in this scene.
Sansa is taking her role as Regent quite seriously, and orders grain stores filled at Winterfel, leather coverings on breastplates – she’s doing good. Littlefinger tries to counsel her and she just shoots him down and it’s glorious. A visitor at the gate…
Two Stark kids together again at last. Bran has returned, and Sansa leaps into the cart to hug him – his response is… less excited.
Yeah, in fact, Bran is ummm creepy as the Three-Eyed Raven. They sit under their god tree and he explains what he can do now, see everything, everyone, everywhere, everywhen. He creeps her out talking to her about how beautiful she was on her wedding night, the night she was raped and tortured repeatedly soooo yeah.
Good lord, he cut it ALL off
Sam cut all the greyscale off Jorah, and treated what was underneath. He’s healed. Thankfully we don’t have to see another signature Samwell Tarly Grossout Moment ® this episode. Jorah thanks Sam for saving his life, and says he’s going back to his queen.
The Archmaester ain’t too happy about Samwell treating Jorah. “You could’ve infected yourself and others, you could’ve devastated the entire Citadel, but you didn’t.” Okay, maybe he is happy? He tells Sam to be proud of what he’s done. Hooray! Buuuut he’s making him copy about 200 full books/documents by hand. Soooo… hooray?
Time for some dragon riding?
Daenerys wants to take her dragons out to destroy the Euron Greyjoy fleet, and her small council doesn’t want that to go down. The unsullied are approaching Casterly Rock, and as Tyrion tells the council meeting that it’s going to be a difficult fight with many deaths, we see it happening, for a moment. Tyrion, however, built the sewers at Casterly Rock, including a passage that began in the sea – now we see Greyworm and a group enter this way, and start killing from the inside, and open the gates to their men.
The Lannisters are screeeeeewwwwwed. There are way less Unsullied than the Lannister army, but Tyrion is positive and says, “They will triumph.” We see the battle again as he speaks and it is a bloody massacre – but there were far too few people there – that’s because the rest are out in the seas, destroying more of the damn fleet. Shit. Shit shit shit.
Jaime and a massive army of Lannisters, even Bronn the sellsword, are marching on the Tyrell’s home. This was not in the plan. It feels like Cersei is really just 10 steps ahead of Daenerys and company at every turn. The battle is so easily won they don’t bother to show it. Just the death.
A final conversation?
Jaime enters Olenna’s room and speaks – Jaime took his lessons from Robb Stark to do this. Highgarden has fallen, and their gold belongs to Queen Cersei, first of her name. Olenna takes it all in stride, even calling Joffrey a cunt in conversation, so she’s still a super badass. She tries to tell Jaime to be wary of Cersei who she calls “a monster.”
She understands that Jaime truly loves Cersei. “She’s a disease. I regret my role in spreading it, and you will too.” Jaime, at least, is making Lady Olenna’s death easy and painless. He opens a vile of poison and pours it into her wine glass. After she drinks it, she describes exactly the poison that Joffrey took and its effects. “A shocking scene – not at all what I’d intended. Tell Cersei, I want her to know it was me.” That’s about the most baller thing anyone has ever said while quite literally staring their death in the face.
And that’s the mic-dropper. Lots still up in the air as we now count the seconds to next week’s episode of Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.
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